Interesting Article

My brother send me this link to a very interesting article about one person's view of Chinese Parents and how they raise their children. Basically, they expect more from their children and therefore, that determines how they parent.

I don't know that I could be as strict at some parents are, but I feel like I'm more strict than a lot of parents I know. There is a fine line between having high expectations and expecting too much from our children.

For example, I expect that Lil M can tidy her room before bed each night. This means that she puts up her toys. Now, does she get them in the bins where I want them? Not necessarily. Instead, she puts them on the 2nd bed in her room. Have I made a big deal of this? Heck no. Why? Because she is getting the concept down of getting all the toys off the floor and making the room better. Once this is mastered, then I'll worry about the bins. :) To her, I think the other bed is just one big bin! LOL. (oops, MK, I didn't mean for that to come out!! hahaha) She does also learn about putting her toys away at school.

We've had a fairly slow start to the beginning of the year at home. T moved out, and Lil M and I are just taking a bit of time to ourselves. I'm still trying to decide how and when I will re-do her room. She's got a TON of toys from Christmas and even though we went through them before the holiday, I've clearly got to do it again! I'm not complaining. But I do notice that when she has that many out she doesn't play with some of the others. So, I try to rotate.

Oh, and one new toy I got her is a word building magnet game. She seems to like it. She adds letters to it and it makes 3 letter words. It has one option of giving her a word to find the letters for. It's great, actually. She's taken to coming to me with new Chinese words, too, and so I think we're ready to start looking at that more. She starts Kindergarten next August, so I want to get her ready for that. :)

Peace.

Our fun

So this is Christmas

Lil M and I went to Sis' for Christmas on Christmas Eve this year. Dad and Janice were there. It was our normal Christmas (sans Santa for that morning). We did our normal stuff, breakfast pizza and fruit salad. TONS of presents to open. It was a very big morning (preceeded by a very long night). After that, Lil M and I took a nap and then went to the Christmas Eve service with my Dad. It was nice. Lil M got a new dress at Christmas from Grandma and Grandpa. She wore it all day and the next. She seemed to like the service because the whole rest of the weekend she played "chorus" and said she was going to practice a lot. Brought me a book at one point and said we were going to sing the ABC's... that the "director" told us to stand up and all. LOL it was pretty cute.

By the time we got home it was 10:30pm or later and she didn't go to bed until probably almost midnight again. Yikes. So, Christmas morning wasn't quite as fun as I thought it might be... it was still fun, mind you, but we were both exhausted. She opened presents... and got her "batar" (guitar) from Santa that she wanted (except it wasn't "all pink"... she was a little disappointed in that for a little while). I got her some Kai Lan pajamas and she said she didn't like them, or Kai Lan as much as Dora. I knew then that she was tired from the big day before. So, we took a break on the presents.

Since we got a later start in the morning, her nap was also later. And I was determined to have her at least rest for awhile because she was up obscenely late two nights in a row... plus, I was exhausted and had a headache (due to my own lack of sleep, i'm sure). So... we missed Christmas at my best friend's. :( I know they missed us and I missed being with them, but I was just so tired. When we got up, Lil M opened the last of her presents and we sang Jesus Happy Birthday. She was in a much better mood and even said that she liked Kai Lan (unprovoked) more than Dora... to which I replied... does this mean you want to wear your new jammies? She said yes... and this was the first time I got the new dress off her in two days. LOL (ok, except during the one nap-time). I promise to post pics.

All in all, we had a really great Christmas. I was glad we didn't do Santa, per se, at my Sister's house this year. I thought that would be kind of confusing. Plus, we didn't really do much of Santa anyway. It was nice having Mommy Mia time, too. I think next year I'd like to take another day or two off to recouperate. :) Back to work this week and am still exhausted. Definitely got out of our normal routine this weekend. But it was worth it.

We didn't end up making a cupcake for Jesus' birthday, but as I mentioned, we did sing Happy Birthday. We also read the birth story every day for over a week. Lil M likes the story about the woman with the baby in her belly. We might make the cupcake tonight and read the stories again.

Oh, and I tried to find A Charlie Brown Christmas movie and couldn't right before Christmas. My Dad got Lil M a book, though, that has the music and we read that, too. :) Great minds.

Last night, she made a 'lemonade' stand out of boxes in the family room and served me lemonade and strawberry lemonade using her new toy mixer. (all pretend, of course) She also served me cupcakes and cookies. Last week, she had a tea party with her animals in her room using her cups and some puzzle pieces as cookies. LOVE her imagination. :D

Peace.

Cold and snowy

It is very cold tonight, and there is maybe 4" of snow on the ground... and T is not here. She's somewhere where it is even colder inside... due in 5 weeks... and I wish she was home.

I thank God for a warm house and a wonderful family. Lil M and I had a quiet day at home. Though, we did make it out for a short bit to run to the store after the snow started.

I moved the Christmas tree downstairs this year for the first time. I think I like it. I just wanted something different, and it wasn't sitting where I wanted it to in the living room. Lil M really wants a barbie guitar (bu-tar) for Christmas. I better see if I can find it again.

I'd like to get Lil M's room re-done this Christmas, and have gotten a couple of things for it. But I might hold off for a little while longer, because I want to get her a twin bed. She likes sleeping with her animals and baby right now... the current selection is Meow, Monkey, Baby, Teddy with blanket and Bunny. Has to have everything 'just so'. It is too cute.

She also gives me the whole kiss/hug routine each night... daddy bear hug, mommy bear hug, baby bear hug, fish hug. daddy bear kiss, mommy bear kiss, baby bear kiss, fish kiss. then she kisses my right cheek, left cheek, forehead, nose, chin and neck. and i do the same in return. SHE came up with this all on her own and I do love it.

Peace.

Masters

I started back to school this fall to work on my Master's degree. I have a BSCS and am looking to get an MSCIT (computer info. technology). So far, I like my class list. This semester I'm taking a Systems Analysis class that is right up my alley. It's very similar to what I do on a daily basis and I've found it fairly easy. Gotta love that. I'm hoping to get an A in the class, and if I get a B it'll be ok (though, I'll be a little disappointed).

T is due next month and we're getting ready for that. One thing I did was register for a couple of online classes so that I can continue my program and be home when needed. Let's see how that works out. I've never actually taken an online college course before. I could take them in class, seeing as it is so close, but I'd like to try online at least once. I like the in-class kind, but with Lil M it makes it a bit more challenging.

I'd like to get through this program in the next year or year and a half... so that when Lil M is in real school I can do the Mommy things required.

This class I'm taking has made me consider writing a book or a white paper for publication. I think that my area of expertise could use some more documentation and why not give it a try?! :)

Lil M and T are good. Nothing really new except Lil M finally hit 33 lbs and 38.75" at her last Dr appt (Nov 19). That put her in the 24th percentile for weight and 19th percentile for height. Those are both lower than they were before, but I need to look it up to see what that means.

Peace.

The icks

Well... Lil M and T (mostly T) have been coughing and hacking and blowing noses for awhile now. And, it looks like it's my turn. bah. I'm actually not feeling horrible, but definitely not good.

Oh, and I forgot I still need to make my bed tonight after washing the sheets and blankets today. Why is that a problem, you ask? Because there is a 16 month old sleeping in my room right now... oops. We've got guests tonight that will only be here until tomorrow. ...Don't wake a sleeping baby. Let's hope she's good and asleep when I need to move around in there.

My friend's surgery went well and she's healing. Thank God.

Lil M has been asking adoption questions lately. Tough ones... I need to sit down and think of better answers. I never knew how tough it would be to answer these questions until now. How do you answer a question that you honestly don't know the answer to without making it sound stupid? Or unbelievable. I guess that is how it does sound to people who don't know the whole story. This whole baby in the tummy... of another woman we don't know... is really tough to answer.

Peace.

My Dear Friend

One of my best friends in the world has to have surgery this coming Monday morning. Please send up healing prayers for her. I really want to be there for her next week, and I'm not sure what all that will entail. But I know it will be a long, painful week for her and she's going to have a lot of recovery after that (6-8 weeks). I'm not going to go into details, but if you wouldn't mind sending up those healing prayers, that would be wonderful.

Peace.

Adoption Month

I am in the minority. I chose to create my family differently that most, or so 'they' say. Well, I guess it's a fact. :)

Adoption takes a leap of faith. It doesn't make logical sense to some. It infuriates others. It hurts people. The 'need' for adoption in the first place puzzles and disturbs. There should never be a need for a child to be separated from their family. Let alone go to a second. (or a third, or even many, in the case of foster placement.)

I'm a second. I'm a first mom to my daughter, but I'm not her first mom.

I was asked for the second time yesterday whether or not I will take Lil M back to her family in China. Yep, those words exactly. And, yes, she does have family there. But we don't know who they are, as I explained, and therefore, if we go back it'll be to learn more about her country of birth.

I digress.

What is really on my heart right now is two-fold. Adoption starts from a place of pain. Regardless of what anyone tells you. There is some kind of pain involved somehow, someday. Reunion shows and blogs will tell you that.

But adoption is also a blessing. I've been blessed. I hope to be a blessing to Lil M. And I hope we can bless others. The same goes with T. She is a blessing to me. She has a past, and it wasn't so rosy. There is pain there. And, I realize I've switched to fostering for a second, but the premise definitely holds. There is pain and there is blessing. My prayer every day is that I am a blessing to my children. That I can help guide them through the pain and through the life they are moving toward.

Adoption connects two families permanently... sometimes continents apart. And sometimes down the road. It also can teach new things if you are willing to be open. Taking that leap of faith was the BEST thing I've ever done. Period.

Blessings and peace.

Busy month

We've done a lot this month, hence my being a bit quieter than usual. T had a birthday and a baby shower. It's Halloween this weekend, so that's 3 weekends we've been busy. T's nephew also had a birthday recently, that we all went to.

Monday starts National Adoption Month, and I have some things I think I want to post for that.

Lil M is doing great. She was laying in her room last night, snuggled up with Manna. It was adorable. She is going to be a Southern Belle Princess this weekend. She made a t-shirt at school this week for Halloween. I need to get some pics of it and another piece of 'artwork' she did at school that I guess we can get made into gifts. Which is very cool.

Peace.

The Heart

The heart wants what the heart wants. For me, that was to parent. I love being Mommy. ... Ma, Mama, Mom, Mother. Whatever the title, if it is said in love... that's all that matters. But I have to confess, I love Mommy most. Maybe it is because I didn't call my own Mom that for very long. She was always so serious. We had a different relationship, I guess, and it makes me a little sad sometimes. I love my Mom very much, of course, but some relationships don't work out quite like we think they will.

I want Lil M to know that I am "Mommy" for always and forever. I will help fix the booboos and take as much hurt away as God will allow. And my prayer is that she and I always have that closeness. That she just knows that I'm her rock (me and her Father God), and her support.

Last night, we went to the movie after dinner. Lil M curled up on my lap and watched most of it. Just the way she curls up on me and hugs me... it's the best feeling in the world. And like this morning, I was able to give her the option to stay home with T today... or go to school (daycare). She said... I want you to stay here with me Mommy. :) Now, I know it wasn't 'cause she didn't want to hang with T. She ended up doing that... but she chose me. That makes my heart sing.

I praise God, through whom all blessings flow, for the life I lead. God gave me my heart and my heart needed to go down a different path than most. But for me, it's just natural. It is the right way.

Anyway, I could wax eloquent all day... or something like that, right?!!

Peace.