Been awhile...

The past few weeks have been quite busy around here. I am fostering again, this time a younger child, and taking classes for my Masters program.

Lil M has started gymnastics and seems to really like it. I'm trying to get her into piano or violin lessons, too, but not sure when that will start. She's my shining star. She's still a very happy girl, and I can't believe she'll start Kindergarten this fall. She likes to play dress-up, and has for about the last full year. She likes to color, paint, and read books together. She knows how to spell her name and Mommy, dog and stop. I haven't been pushing too much, since she does learn some at pre-school. She's ready to go to Kindergarten, IMO, and talks about it even now. She is a compassionate child who likes being a big sister to our foster, though, she does push the limits on what is allowed and likes to try to get the baby in trouble sometimes... mostly, I think it is because she is still feeling her way in being a role model and not just an only child.

That being said, I don't think there is much chance that this foster will turn into more. As I've always looked at having a second child, I'm not 100% convinced either of us need that long-term, nor do I think that God's made that path ultimately clearly available. I am open to whatever happens, and as usual am extremely happy to be Lil M's Mama for sure. :) She is my joy.

I will say that fostering has taught me to be a better parent, both when I had a teen and now that I have a little one. It teaches me to try to be sensitive and open to Lil M's needs and not just get bogged down with the day-to-day life stuff (other than her that stress me out, causing me to not always be pleasant). No one is pleasant all the time, but I know that I want to show her that Mommy won't take out a bad day on her. That's a continual process for me, as my parents were a bit standoffish in some ways.... and I find that I can have that tendency when I get home from a long day.

Actually, overall we're doing very well. Having a child does teach you where some of your flaw are, doesn't it? And since I want to be the very best parent to her as I can, I'd rather try to work on those thereby, hopefully, making her better for it, too. :)

Oh, and last weekend we went to a book signing at a local bookstore. I was recognized from this blog, and I just want to give a shout out to Laura (please tell me that I'm rembering correctly, I was a bit frazzled that day!!) ... I was shocked and honored that you stopped by and said hello. :D It was awesome! I have been addicted to following peoples' blogs for years, and to know that there are people out there who still follow our journey is amazing to me. :) Congrats to you and your little one, who was just adorable!! We enjoyed the book signing and Lil M did great. The littlest one didn't do as well, and cried when she saw the helper guy with a beard. Of course, later we found out that she was a bit fussy because she was on the verge of getting sick... but that's a story for another time. lol

Peace.

Ameri-Asian friend and her daughter

We've made friends with a lady who is Japanese (Hawaiian), married to a caucasian man and they have a daughter who looks caucasian. Both of them are as cute as they could be. I like them a lot. So does Lil M. Anyway, we've been trying for months to get together with them. So, it finally worked out for us to meet tonight at the gymnastics place where her daughter takes classes.

The place let Lil M take a trial class tonight and they looked up class the class roster to see if they could get her in the real class. Basically, they only take 6 kids in a class at a time... but one of the kids in this class hadn't gone at all this session... so, they called the family and apparently, it opened up a spot for Lil M!! :)

I think I'm more excited about her doing this than I have been the other stuff, even... mostly because I always wanted to do gymnastics when I was a kid. So, now, I get to live vicariously through her! :) I hope she loves it. If she doesn't, I won't force her to do it... but if tonight and the weekend were any inclination, I think it's gonna be a good fit for now!

I'm mostly excited about her learning more balance and confidence and body-awareness. Plus, she's just TOO dang cute!!!! Looks like I need to go get her a cute pink leotard. :) what she has works fine (basic black)... but i bet she'd love something more girly soon.... if she ends up liking the class.

My friend and I did notice that we got some funny stares from people... who assumed Lil M was with her and her daughter was mine. We remarked on it and both laughed. :)

Peace.

Interesting Article

My brother send me this link to a very interesting article about one person's view of Chinese Parents and how they raise their children. Basically, they expect more from their children and therefore, that determines how they parent.

I don't know that I could be as strict at some parents are, but I feel like I'm more strict than a lot of parents I know. There is a fine line between having high expectations and expecting too much from our children.

For example, I expect that Lil M can tidy her room before bed each night. This means that she puts up her toys. Now, does she get them in the bins where I want them? Not necessarily. Instead, she puts them on the 2nd bed in her room. Have I made a big deal of this? Heck no. Why? Because she is getting the concept down of getting all the toys off the floor and making the room better. Once this is mastered, then I'll worry about the bins. :) To her, I think the other bed is just one big bin! LOL. (oops, MK, I didn't mean for that to come out!! hahaha) She does also learn about putting her toys away at school.

We've had a fairly slow start to the beginning of the year at home. T moved out, and Lil M and I are just taking a bit of time to ourselves. I'm still trying to decide how and when I will re-do her room. She's got a TON of toys from Christmas and even though we went through them before the holiday, I've clearly got to do it again! I'm not complaining. But I do notice that when she has that many out she doesn't play with some of the others. So, I try to rotate.

Oh, and one new toy I got her is a word building magnet game. She seems to like it. She adds letters to it and it makes 3 letter words. It has one option of giving her a word to find the letters for. It's great, actually. She's taken to coming to me with new Chinese words, too, and so I think we're ready to start looking at that more. She starts Kindergarten next August, so I want to get her ready for that. :)

Peace.

Our fun

So this is Christmas

Lil M and I went to Sis' for Christmas on Christmas Eve this year. Dad and Janice were there. It was our normal Christmas (sans Santa for that morning). We did our normal stuff, breakfast pizza and fruit salad. TONS of presents to open. It was a very big morning (preceeded by a very long night). After that, Lil M and I took a nap and then went to the Christmas Eve service with my Dad. It was nice. Lil M got a new dress at Christmas from Grandma and Grandpa. She wore it all day and the next. She seemed to like the service because the whole rest of the weekend she played "chorus" and said she was going to practice a lot. Brought me a book at one point and said we were going to sing the ABC's... that the "director" told us to stand up and all. LOL it was pretty cute.

By the time we got home it was 10:30pm or later and she didn't go to bed until probably almost midnight again. Yikes. So, Christmas morning wasn't quite as fun as I thought it might be... it was still fun, mind you, but we were both exhausted. She opened presents... and got her "batar" (guitar) from Santa that she wanted (except it wasn't "all pink"... she was a little disappointed in that for a little while). I got her some Kai Lan pajamas and she said she didn't like them, or Kai Lan as much as Dora. I knew then that she was tired from the big day before. So, we took a break on the presents.

Since we got a later start in the morning, her nap was also later. And I was determined to have her at least rest for awhile because she was up obscenely late two nights in a row... plus, I was exhausted and had a headache (due to my own lack of sleep, i'm sure). So... we missed Christmas at my best friend's. :( I know they missed us and I missed being with them, but I was just so tired. When we got up, Lil M opened the last of her presents and we sang Jesus Happy Birthday. She was in a much better mood and even said that she liked Kai Lan (unprovoked) more than Dora... to which I replied... does this mean you want to wear your new jammies? She said yes... and this was the first time I got the new dress off her in two days. LOL (ok, except during the one nap-time). I promise to post pics.

All in all, we had a really great Christmas. I was glad we didn't do Santa, per se, at my Sister's house this year. I thought that would be kind of confusing. Plus, we didn't really do much of Santa anyway. It was nice having Mommy Mia time, too. I think next year I'd like to take another day or two off to recouperate. :) Back to work this week and am still exhausted. Definitely got out of our normal routine this weekend. But it was worth it.

We didn't end up making a cupcake for Jesus' birthday, but as I mentioned, we did sing Happy Birthday. We also read the birth story every day for over a week. Lil M likes the story about the woman with the baby in her belly. We might make the cupcake tonight and read the stories again.

Oh, and I tried to find A Charlie Brown Christmas movie and couldn't right before Christmas. My Dad got Lil M a book, though, that has the music and we read that, too. :) Great minds.

Last night, she made a 'lemonade' stand out of boxes in the family room and served me lemonade and strawberry lemonade using her new toy mixer. (all pretend, of course) She also served me cupcakes and cookies. Last week, she had a tea party with her animals in her room using her cups and some puzzle pieces as cookies. LOVE her imagination. :D

Peace.

Cold and snowy

It is very cold tonight, and there is maybe 4" of snow on the ground... and T is not here. She's somewhere where it is even colder inside... due in 5 weeks... and I wish she was home.

I thank God for a warm house and a wonderful family. Lil M and I had a quiet day at home. Though, we did make it out for a short bit to run to the store after the snow started.

I moved the Christmas tree downstairs this year for the first time. I think I like it. I just wanted something different, and it wasn't sitting where I wanted it to in the living room. Lil M really wants a barbie guitar (bu-tar) for Christmas. I better see if I can find it again.

I'd like to get Lil M's room re-done this Christmas, and have gotten a couple of things for it. But I might hold off for a little while longer, because I want to get her a twin bed. She likes sleeping with her animals and baby right now... the current selection is Meow, Monkey, Baby, Teddy with blanket and Bunny. Has to have everything 'just so'. It is too cute.

She also gives me the whole kiss/hug routine each night... daddy bear hug, mommy bear hug, baby bear hug, fish hug. daddy bear kiss, mommy bear kiss, baby bear kiss, fish kiss. then she kisses my right cheek, left cheek, forehead, nose, chin and neck. and i do the same in return. SHE came up with this all on her own and I do love it.

Peace.

Masters

I started back to school this fall to work on my Master's degree. I have a BSCS and am looking to get an MSCIT (computer info. technology). So far, I like my class list. This semester I'm taking a Systems Analysis class that is right up my alley. It's very similar to what I do on a daily basis and I've found it fairly easy. Gotta love that. I'm hoping to get an A in the class, and if I get a B it'll be ok (though, I'll be a little disappointed).

T is due next month and we're getting ready for that. One thing I did was register for a couple of online classes so that I can continue my program and be home when needed. Let's see how that works out. I've never actually taken an online college course before. I could take them in class, seeing as it is so close, but I'd like to try online at least once. I like the in-class kind, but with Lil M it makes it a bit more challenging.

I'd like to get through this program in the next year or year and a half... so that when Lil M is in real school I can do the Mommy things required.

This class I'm taking has made me consider writing a book or a white paper for publication. I think that my area of expertise could use some more documentation and why not give it a try?! :)

Lil M and T are good. Nothing really new except Lil M finally hit 33 lbs and 38.75" at her last Dr appt (Nov 19). That put her in the 24th percentile for weight and 19th percentile for height. Those are both lower than they were before, but I need to look it up to see what that means.

Peace.

Goings on

Let's see... T is 21 weeks 6 days pregnant. Definitely showing... we got a lot done around the house today, nothing big... just the standard kind of chores. We're doing well at the moment, for which I'm super thankful. :) Lil M is, too.

Lil M doesn't seem to like soccer as much as I thought she would, which she started 3 weeks ago. Not sure what I'm going to do about that. My friend MK suggested I take her out of it, and I might do that. She might just not be ready for it. This program has something like 70 kids... and I think it is a bit overwhelming for Lil M and her two friends (Aria and Becky). The three of them seem to get run over by the bigger kids most of the time. I haven't decided if I'm going to give it one more week or not. She's at the age where I don't want to force her to be miserable... if she likes it, great. If not... oh well. The coach was kind of snarky to me, so that's a deterrent, as well.

She IS darn cute in her soccer clothes, though. :D

I had to get a new AC/heat unit last month. I also had some back taxes to pay (crap). And I had to get a new washer. Good news is that I can pay payments on the AC/heat thing... Thank God.

My little family here makes me very happy. We've made the downstairs office into a baby room, and we know T will have a boy... named Gabriel (Gabe... or baby G). Nope, no M name for him... darn!! LOL

Random picture goodness from the past couple of weeks...

T from today sporting, G, the Baby Bump
Labor Day weekend cutie patootie
Labor Day weekend, just us girls. :)
Lil M on her 'camping' cot...

holiday weekend

I want to send a big thank you to all of our nation's Military men and women, past and present. You do good work. Thank you for keeping us safe.

I'm glad to have a long weekend off. I've even taken Tuesday off so that I can spend a bit more time with Lil M before I go out of town for a few days. This is a first for me and I am sort of dreading it. I know it is good for me to go do my work stuff, but if I could, I'd take her with me everywhere.

Not sure what all we'll do this weekend, but I want to try to do something fun. Maybe we'll go see a movie or go to a park to play. Maybe a cook-out or two. Mostly, I just want to have some time with Lil M, specifically. She will be fine when I'm out of town, but that doesn't mean I won't miss her terribly.

Of course, T is here, and we'll spend time together this weekend... if and when she's not hiding in her room. She's been sulking for 2 days now because I scolded her for missing a day of school and for not studying properly for her final exams. And she couldn't figure out why I wouldn't let her see BF last night when she has an exam today. Ugh. Go figure... teens.

Been thinking of attachment a lot lately, and am wondering if I'm doing all I can do with Lil M in that regard. We've gone to a couple of stores recently where she's just walked up and hugged a stranger. That sort of scares me. So, I think I need to pay more attention to that. I have a feeling it is partly due to knowing that she has different teachers at her school/daycare and that they are all 'safe'... might just be translating that in her head to think all adults are safe. If that's all it is, then I think just reminding her to stay with me is the key... if not, then... well, not sure what to do about that. She's also called a couple of other people Mommy recently (on accident, i guess) ... which could also be harmless (nephew used to do it to me)... or she could genuinely think that there is no difference in someone taking care of her besides me. God, I hope it's just harmless. So, those are my recent thoughts... especially since I have T in the house now and want to make sure Lil M and I are OK.

Attachment is extremely important for any child, especially those who have been adopted. So, it has been very important for me to try to build. I just need to keep an eye on it, I guess and try to make some slight adjustments/improvements.

Peace.

PS. Lil M counted to 30 yesterday, all by herself to 28 and i helped the last two! :D she can also spell STOP and tells me where all the stop signs are. she's been able to spell her first and last name for awhile now. We're working on her knowing her middle name. Then it's on to phone number and address...

Shower breakthrough

Lil M doesn't like showers very well. She's much more partial to baths. Tonight, though, she did GREAT and had a shower! She got in and put her head back for me to wash her hair and everything. It was amazing. Now, I don't want her all grown up or anything, but it is nice to be able to have her take a quick shower if need be. :)

We went garage saling with Sis yesterday and got her some new clothes for summer. Garage sales are great for getting toddler clothes. We ended up finding a couple of new play dresses, too. I'll get pics, but she is so cute when she plays dress-up.

T isn't really talking to me, but that's because I've taken her phone away for a week now. Since she had a problem last week with showing her anger, and the other stuff, I just feel like she needs something more than I've done so far. I'll just say foster-care is tougher some days than I thought it might be. I actually wonder how we'll get through it. But I'm trying.

Lil M is always my shining star. I love her more than words can even describe.

Peace.

Program

Pics from the program last night.



Lil M and her best friend MK2

end of year program

Lil M and her friend MK have an end of year program today after 'school' (daycare). The kids in the 3,4 and 5YO rooms all participate and it should be cute. This will be Lil M's first time on a stage, and I wonder if she'll be shy or participate. I hope she participates. :)

Work has been busy this past couple of weeks and looks like it might continue for awhile. Basically, they want me to have full regression suites of tests and with the limited information I have, it'll take awhile.

T is out of school for the summer at the beginning of June. She's excited. She's also excited I got her a guinea pig... named Eisenswine. Never in my life did I think I'd have one of those in my house... but he's ok so far.

I'll get pics tonight of the performance. I hope. :)

Peace.

Pics

Here are some new pics.




playing dress upPeace.

Writing

I've been at a bit of a loss these past couple of weeks for some reason. In writing, I mean.

Life is moving right along and we're doing alright here. I have a new title at work, but no more money (yet?)... new boss has had us all towing the line and working more. Thank God I work close to home.

Lil M is doing fine. She moved up to the next room at DC. She can write her name. She knows how to spell her first and last name. She has been overnight accident free (except 2 times) since the end of January. So, she is potty trained. She can count to 20 (misses 16) and count backwards from 8. She is learning how to play a matching game with T. She knows all her colors and basic shapes. She knows her alphabet and can recognize her letters A-Z almost every single time (she might miss a couple)...including upper and lowercase letters. She speaks in full sentences and talked up a storm at home. She speaks in multiple sentences, too. We can understand her 99% of the time (some others might say 75% of the time).

She says: Please, Mommy can I have/do/etc *fill in the blank*, please. (yes, she says it twice, when she's using her manners).

She mimics Mommy by saying "Come on people"... to the other drivers on the road who are not moving.

She still loves Meow and Monkey the best.

She's still a Mommy's girl, and very protective.

She is still 28.5 lbs or so, wearing a 3T top and 2T/3T bottom... almost all into a 3T now. She's moved up to a size 6 toddler shoe, after wearing a 5.5 for what seems like a year. She likes to play dress up and has been wearing the same dress over her clothes (after school) for over a week now. I must get a pic of that. LOL

Peace.

Show and Tell

Thought I'd share a couple of random pics and a video... love the face Lil M is making here.... and the 2nd one is Manna Fanna, who is my almost 16 YO cat.


The video is very short snippet of Lil M's Christmas party at school... I know, it's February! LOL. But here it is. :)




Please go check out some other great Show and Tell posts here!!

Peace.

And broken...

The snow actually broke the table. wow. It bent the leg and just fell over.


I took some silly pics tonight of the girls... T was wearing Lil M's shoes and they were both posing for pics... and just generally being goofy.
Could they be any cuter?!!!

Meow and Monkey were, of course, involved in the craziness. :D We don't have cabin fever, do we?!!

Peace.

Monday, Monday

... is a much better day. I know that's not how the song goes... but that's my take on today vs. say, Saturday. :)

Today is just like most other days... not overly remarkable! LOL. I do need to go to the grocery. I also need to get things written down and copied for the bi-weekly social worker visit this week.

Lil M and I got to have some time together on Saturday, and I thought I'd mention that she's doing really well with her overnight potty training (please, God, not trying to jinx myself here again!! LOL). She has gone all week without an accident. :D WOOOOHOOOO! Now, let's see how this week goes. She definitely has the idea, it's a matter of how tired she is, I think, when she has a problem.

Lil M has taken to coming and waking me up in the mornings, if I'm not already up first. :) She holds my hand and either lays back down or sits next to me. It's pretty darn cute. She's taken to saying she's not a baby, she's a "big girl" now... Of course, she's said she's not a 'baby' for quite awhile... but the big girl part is new.

She was 3 years and 5 months as of Jan 27. ;-) I can't believe she's almost 3.5 years old already!!! EEK, where does the time go?! I weighed her a few weeks ago, and she was 28 lbs. She hasn't gained much weight, but she is definitely taller. I'll try to measure her height really soon! :)

Now, you know... I wish so much that China would open back up for us singles... so, I could just go ahead and go back there for a sibling for her. Otherwise, I haven't made any firm decisions on the direction I will go, but that will probably happen in the next few months. Or, I might decide that our little family is just right. We'll see. Still praying about it.

Peace.

week

I didn't mean to go a whole week without an update.

Let's see, Manna went to the Vet and her check-up went well. She's still just 5lbs and 9oz, which is actually down from last time, but her coat looks good and she looks pretty good, so says the Vet. That was good. Thyroid will just be helped with the meds and next check-up isn't until July. Very good. And at that point, she will be 16 years old. Wow.

We're doing OK here, too. Lil M had a good week with the overnight potty (like 7 days even) and then just had 3 accidents in a row. One step forward, two steps back? She's getting there, though.

She has taken to getting our forks out for dinner, while T and I get the dinner ready. We're a good team, the three of us. Yes, Lil M can count to 3 and gets us the right forks out and puts them on our table. :) T made us dinner the other night - baked coconut shrimp (box), veggies and a rice mix that was coconut and something else.

Lil M wants to help Mommy with the dishes, but I can't let her help too much yet (glass and knives and such), but let her help where I can. Even if that means using her own kiddie kitchen to cook while I do.

One of T's social workers came over tonight to give her some things her previous foster parents still had. One thing was her money from her savings account. Problem is that the check she sent over is for a much smaller amount than T thought she had in her savings. So, the agency is going to have to figure out what's going on with that. But T was upset, and I can't blame her.

Same social worker said it looks like things are going well here, but just to still be on the look out for manipulation or the honeymoon period wearing off. She is a teenager and to expect that things could happen. I said... absolutely. I'm trying to keep my eyes open. But this week was good, and I'm just taking it one day at a time.

As for me, I had a bad day at work yesterday. But hopefully, it'll be OK by next week. (people were kind of rude to me in a meeting and I didn't ignore it like I should have.) I took today off and hung out with Lil M... and then we took Manna to the Vet. Surprisingly, we saw Ellen there too! And she got good news from the Vet today, as well. Her kitty might be in remission (from diabetes)!!

Peace.

Updates

Lil M is 3 years and 4+ months old now. She is 28 lbs. I need to get her height, but I'm sure she's grown taller in the past 4 months, and then she was 35.5" tall.

Yesterday, she was determined (in her 3 YO way) to make a snowman when we got home. lol. She also wanted to make snowballs. Of course, neither actually looked like what they were supposed to, but she liked piling the snow and playing in it. :)

She is still doing really fantastic with her letters and numbers. She can recognize (out of order) letters in her games, on signs, etc. And, she's gotten more confident with it.

Over Christmas, she loved the Christmas lights...and would say she couldn't see the Christmas lights when we were having dinner (code for Torrie move out of my way)... and would get excited when the tree came on every single day!

She has taken to coming in my room in the mornings, when she hasn't had an accident, and spending a little time with me. Which, I think, it awesome. It's always sweet when your toddler seeks you out. :) She's dry approx 3-4 nights a week right now. Still not wearing pull-ups at all. She gave those up. lol. I know some of this is a repeat... but I wanted to make sure I had it written down.

Lil M likes to play with the cart that came with her kitchen set, and put all kinds of stuff in it. She also plays with her baby doll she got, that has a carrier with straps (or her "backpack")... she's taken to saying the baby is crying and then picks it up and gives it love. She does this with her animals, too.

Meow and Monkey are still the two favorites. Oh, and she talks up a storm most days!! She cracks me up. And then others, she won't hardly say a word. But most of the time... talk, talk, talk!!

One day we went to a restroom at a store, and I said it looked "disgusting"... so, she uses that term a lot now! That's Dis-Gustin !! lol.

Peace.

Toddler Bed

Lil M has been sleeping in her crib up until tonight... tonight, she's in her new (to her) toddler bed, thanks to my friend at work! Her son, who is 5, just graduated to a big bed... and so she gave me his toddler bed! :)


My baby is growing up! Let's see how she does tonight. :) Her very first-ever night in her big-girl bed!! I guess I should get her something cute to make her bed look special, huh? She seemed pretty excited, so I hope this goes over well!

I think we're going to see the new movie The Blind Side tomorrow. This is still National Adoption Month... and tomorrow, the 21st, is National Adoption Day!! The Blind Side is the movie with Sandra Bullock that is about a successful older child adoption. Please go see it!! :)

Peace.